Okay, so it’s 3:04 a.m. as I am writing this. I’m still pretty wired from the extra large coke that I had throughout the movie, and I’m amazed that at no point in the two and a half hour long duration did I want to get up and leave the theatre to pee. I was glued to my seat, and not even a full bladder could make me miss a second of this film (especially after what I paid just to see it in 2D). I have been an avid film enthusiast and critic as well as a DC fan my entire life, and I intend to critique this movie from both standpoints.
Since 1983, Superman has been plagued with a couple of atrocious films. In ’83, ‘Superman III’ was released, and if you’re a DC fan I don’t have to tell you just how bad this pile of excrement was. Cinematically it was terrible too, and not even the comic relief of Richard Pryor could save it. If you want to see Superman get utterly plastered, flick bar peanuts at whiskey bottles- breaking them just for fun, then picking up a prostitute (literally) and 'getting it on' atop of the Statue of Liberty (I’m dead serious), followed by an inexplicable fist fight with his alter ego, Clark Kent (I know, it’s just as stupid as it sounds), then that movie might be the right one for you.
When Superman fans thought it couldn’t get any worse, well…it did. In 1987, ‘Superman IV: The Quest for Peace’ was released. You have to see this movie to believe how awful it is. I’m struggling to find the words to describe just how bad it is. Let me put it this way…I’d rather have a root canal at a Justin Bieber concert, whilst Michelle Bachman tries to explain to me how anything she says is even remotely intelligent or rational. If that doesn’t sum it up for you, then go watch it, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Skip ahead to 2006. Superman fans had a shimmer of hope when they were told Brian Singer, the director behind ‘X-Men’ would take the reigns of the franchise. They even wrote it so that the setting took place after Superman II, so as to discount the prequels that came after it in order to sweep them under the rug. Clearly, I’m not the only one who thinks those films were terrible. Despite Singer’s best intentions, and Brandon Routh’s noble attempt to mimic the late Christopher Reeve’s style that was brought forth to the character, and Kevin Spacey’s attempt at making Lex Luthor more menacing than the campy Gene Hackman version, the film was a big let down to all the hype, despite its pleasing visual effects. That’s not to say it was all ridiculous though. Compared to horribly 3 and 4 were made, it wasn’t that disappointing. It was tolerable, to say the least. It could have done without that one scene in particular where Superman uses his X-ray vision and advanced hearing to eves-drop on Lois Lane and her family in their own home to see if she still has feelings for him…that’s something a jealous ex-boyfriend would do after a bad break up if he had super powers, not Superman. They should have just cut out that scene, and replaced it with this deleted footage where Superman returns to Krypton to search for any survivors of the planet’s destruction (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sF44PEypDQs). It would have made the film so much better. Needless to say it failed to stand up to ‘Batman Begins’, which came out the year prior.
Since then, the caped crusader was pretty much DC’s best contender to rake in any box office sales and stand up to big block busters that Marvel comics were shelling out, like Iron Man, Thor, Captain America, etc. There was a half-assed attempt at a Green Lantern movie, but as a DC fan and movie critic I’ve tried to convince myself that that movie doesn’t exist and forget I ever watched it.
Today is a proud day for DC fans however. I walked out of that theater with a slight tear of joy in my eye. After having watched the most current incarnation of Superman in Zack Snyder’s ‘Man of Steel’, I can honestly say that this film is one of the greatest movies I have ever seen in my life, and the best Superman film ever made. It’s so exemplary; I couldn’t find any plot holes or inconsistencies. Everything was explained well enough for fans and regular moviegoers to understand, unlike DC’s predecessor last summer with ‘Dark Knight Rises’. The plot was superb, the story arch was stellar, the character development was triumphant, and everybody’s performance was sublime. It’s a fanboy’s dream, and a cinematic jewel. It feels good to say that Superman II is no longer the only film where you see Superman fight a super villain anymore. We get to see Superman cut loose and kick some serious ass. Zack Snyder, director of another prior DC film, ‘The Watchmen’ (a very underrated film), has delivered us a grand slam! Not so fast, Marvel Comics! The Man of Steel has returned!
-Kirk the Intern
6/14/13
